is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
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I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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