By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
