i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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