clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Randomize
