Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
