that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
