I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
