I swear she didn't look like that last week.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
