Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Hippo gnu deer
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
