Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
