She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
