Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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