Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
