Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
