i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
