Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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