She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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