a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
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you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
What a dumb baby whore.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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