My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
