Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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