so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
