Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
