toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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