Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
P.S. I can't hear my feet
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
