So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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