We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost