You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.