I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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