I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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