oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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