My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
My balls are so social today.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
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I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
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I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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