Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize