yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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