Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
There's always time for handjobs
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
