woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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