haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I think I died a long time ago.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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