you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We need a shit load of segways right now
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
