so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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