i think my mom watched the whole time
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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