I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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