I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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