The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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