Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize