OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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