you traded sex for a burrito?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
