at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
