you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
As shirtless as possible
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
