Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
My penis needs a shock collar
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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