Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
