i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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