Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
