Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
