dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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