I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
