i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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