Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
its not stalking. its research.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize