no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
soo... how was my night?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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