That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
