You work out of a Hotel?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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