i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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