The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
