nut hugger
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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