The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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