New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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