As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
