"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
